Nothing By Mouth

Hey, I'm here. When it rains, it pours. Now I'm working two jobs again. I work at the daycare,but not full time like I should and I am working at my gentleman's house, but it is 12 hour shifts. So my schedule looks like this.......... Mon. 10a till 2p, Tue 2p-6p Wed. 2p-6p 7p-7a., Thur. 2p-6p 7p-7a Fri. 2p-6p 7p-7a , and so forth. I can't quit one till one starts giving me enough hours so for the time being I am working and giving up sleep for Lent. I've been told that is how it works in the caring business because you never know what is going to happen with clients. Patients die or move n to nursing homes and children come and go with schools and parents employment. Do I need to move on? Then where do I go all I know is care giving of some sort or the other. Let me tell you about Will. The x district attorney, 92, quad bypass, pacemaker, stroke and now a feeding tube. He loves to ring his bell to get your attention then ask stupid questions. He likes to try and go to the bathroom every 15 min. We do have him out of the wheel chair but we have to unhook the feeding tube or walk with it. He really misses his nightly Manhattan and wants us give a drink even though he is NBM. well that is how it is when you work in the care giving arena.

I'm not getting the message

Am I missing something or what? Well the daycare thing is in limbo at this time, waiting for clearances they say, I've passed them already 3 times. And guess what? I started a new client and after my first night, he went back to the hospital. I'm starting to think I'm missing some important message or something. Should I be in the caring profession? Where would I go if I were to leave? I'm good in factory work but there are no factories working around here right now. I would like to try my "hand" at radio, you know those late night chicks who sound so sexy. I wonder where I could find one of those jobs? I would love to run a store of chichiest, but I don't want to own it. I just don't know. I would go to the churches employment specialist but that's me in my branch. Funny, I seem to be the only one looking for work in my branch. So I send it out to the universe (or to you who read my blog) What should I try? Where should I go?

Daycare?

You say," now what?" but i guess it is good news. I ran into another care giver, for a couple I help with, who also works a daycare so I ask ,"where?" She gives me the phone number and location, I call and get an appointment to interview, I interview and am hired. Well as soon as all the clearance go through again I will work the closing, part time. So I guess I have a new job, but I'm not going to hold my breath. You see, the other company I work for have given me another full time position that has fallen through before I even got there and they promise that they are working on another one as we speak. I guess I'm just going to play by ear.
More news in church too. They released the branch president and starting next Sunday we will be having a short time president( till he moves in June) We are down to 5 active elders in our branch. We have 25 members coming on average and that is counting the children. Don't know how long this branch will stay active.
It is cold and snowing as it has been doing since Christmas and there seems to be no relief in sight. I can watch the ice flow on the lake and can see it all running to the falls. We have a total of 53 in. of snow and the drifts are even bigger. The woolly worm said it would be a late, hard, long winter and woolly worm has never lied to me. The older I get the more I hate winter. I hope you all are having fun in it.
All is well and we just keep going on. Don't look back and don't look to far forward. Enjoy today for what it offers and never want.

just disjointed thoughts

HAPPY NEW YEAR. I never thought I would ever see 2010. Boy, time does fly. I still don't have full time work, but I am working . You have to counts the haves instead of the have nots. With Richards sister in the hospital Christmas just kindof passed. We did go to our daughters home Christmas evening and enjoyed the company of strangers. I worked part of New Year's eve so Richard stayed up with me to see the new year come in. It is cold and they canceled church again so I sit around the house.( yes, I'm that big. ha ha) There is so much to do, but I just can't bring myself to do any of it. This is just rambling on. Disjointed thoughts and expressions. That is how my brain has been working these days. Something is missing. I can't just tell you what, just that nothing is working as it should. Maybe it is the lack of sun shine or warmth of any kind. Maybe just the after the holiday blahs, who knows. Well tomorrow is a new day, in a new year. I'll pull it all together, tomorrow. There is always a tomorrow.

Give care today and be happy

Well, I mailed the Christmas for my family today (so if you are my family, be watching). I also delivered my sister-in-law's present last night, in the hospital. We don't know if she will ever make it home. She is going to a specialty hospital next week. Well since I have seemed to lost my job I think I will apply there. I worked there with a client this summer and it appears to be a nice, small hospital for recovering and such. My husband is doing allot better, his hand is healing and this week is party week. YEAH My Christmas, the parties. This is what I get for Christmas this year. Last Christmas I was at the kids helping out (I hope) This year I'm doing allot of sitting around. Oh the company I work for is looking for work for me, but, you know, an idle care giver is a non productive care giver. I think I will go back to school and become a barber. $5.00 a haircut. I wish I could get back to kids, I do miss caring for children, especially this time of year. I've got to do something. Any suggestions? Just send to this blog. Well, Merry Christmas no matter what the day brings you. Be happy, that's all we can really do for ourselves. Go out and care about someone today. Hold a door, give you spot in line to someone, give some treats to an old person. Love, that is what care givers do.

Ah, this too

I have just got home from work, it is late and quiet and I wax nostalgic. You see, I miss my kids. Not just now but a long time ago. I miss seeing them when they were small. Oh, they are great adults and parents, now, and I love them even more, but seeing them, small, seeing their dirty faces, having them in my home, heck, that is home. When I watch all the old Christmas shows, I think of my kids. When I go to the mall, yes, I think of shopping with and for my kids. I miss the joy that only children bring. You know what I mean? I'm with old people at work. I live with old people now. I am old now and I miss my kids. I try and pick up the babies at church, but we only have 6 in the hole primary. We only have 40 In our branch ( well the ones who come) Yes, tonight, as I sit alone in the quiet, I miss what my kids are dealing with now in their own life. See guys, it does change, gets better, improves, grows, well it does something.. Remember to enjoy today with all its warts because tomorrow it will be missed. I love you all and wish I could of been a better mother to you all. This, too, is care (giving)

Is it care giving or not?

I'm sorry,but I have to put this down, in writing. I need help, help with Christmas, Christmas stories on how people help others. You see, life hasn't always been easy and I have had challenges and so have my kids. There were two Christmases that my daughters and I were alone and kind of lost. No home, no tree, and no presents. No money and a job hard to find, I didn't have anyone from the church bring food, no presents given, not even a car ride to get to church. I'm hopeful that the girls don't have bad memories of this time, but I have nightmares about it every year. Yes, I feel sorry for myself, every Christmas, I just can't seem to get over it. Where were all these heaven sent aid in my time of need? There's more than Christmas, there were times in the hospital that I couldn't get any help. There is the time when after having surgery I was called to take a meal to someone who had a baby. After explaining that I just had surgery and couldn't help out at this time you would think that they would help me? No, because I didn't need a meal, I needed someone to vacuum my rug. Oh well, I'm being petty, but I just can't seem to let it go. I have to admit that I don't do allot of compassionate service because of how I feel. O.K. there is my self pity, my steam, Now I need to let it go, out in the universe. Let it go. Not my problem any more. Well, we will see. I want to let it go, really I do. Christmas is the time to think of others, not self. Give all that love and care even if I didn't get it in my time. Hopefully I won't be leaving this legacy with someone else. Reach out. Care for others. Do what ever you can. Love, Live, Laugh.