Thursday, May 6, 2010

I'll be honest, I cry

My last page I wrote while I was feeling sorry myself and today it's because I am mad at myself. I wanted to approach my boss with the question "What is my job here" but instead I got called in to a 2 hour meeting about me and my ability to stop crying when approached. I almost lost my job because of this one little quirk I have. Yes, I cry. I cry when I'm happy. I cry when I'm mad and I cry when I'm frustrated. I cry just sitting by myself. I've gotten in trouble from this little affliction, but I don't cry in front of the children or clients, only in front of my bosses.( they don't seem to like it) What can I do about this problem? It is not appropriate to cry when you are a care giver. You are not allowed to be a person. A person with problems. A person who has flaws. A person who cannot control themselves. I don't blame my boss, I hate it too. I wish I could stop. Maybe this is where the caregiver needs a little care receiving, but alas here I am. I'm sorry if my tears are offences to you. I'm sorry that I can't control my own feelings. May be I'm sorry that I am me. The crier. The pitiful, the caregiver.

3 comments:

  1. I remember that in the movie 'Broadcast News' Holly Hunter's character would periodically go to her special tranquil place to be alone, and let it all out.

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  2. Find your happy place and think to yourself (or out loud if you're alone), "Serenity now!" Then, after work, have some chocolate and through darts at a picture of you boss.

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  3. I meant to tell you to *throw* darts at your boss. Ha ha.

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