Thursday, May 6, 2010

I'll be honest, I cry

My last page I wrote while I was feeling sorry myself and today it's because I am mad at myself. I wanted to approach my boss with the question "What is my job here" but instead I got called in to a 2 hour meeting about me and my ability to stop crying when approached. I almost lost my job because of this one little quirk I have. Yes, I cry. I cry when I'm happy. I cry when I'm mad and I cry when I'm frustrated. I cry just sitting by myself. I've gotten in trouble from this little affliction, but I don't cry in front of the children or clients, only in front of my bosses.( they don't seem to like it) What can I do about this problem? It is not appropriate to cry when you are a care giver. You are not allowed to be a person. A person with problems. A person who has flaws. A person who cannot control themselves. I don't blame my boss, I hate it too. I wish I could stop. Maybe this is where the caregiver needs a little care receiving, but alas here I am. I'm sorry if my tears are offences to you. I'm sorry that I can't control my own feelings. May be I'm sorry that I am me. The crier. The pitiful, the caregiver.
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3 comments:

  1. Jay AllenMay 8, 2010 at 3:15 AM

    I remember that in the movie 'Broadcast News' Holly Hunter's character would periodically go to her special tranquil place to be alone, and let it all out.

    ReplyDelete
  2. FiaunaMay 11, 2010 at 11:46 AM

    Find your happy place and think to yourself (or out loud if you're alone), "Serenity now!" Then, after work, have some chocolate and through darts at a picture of you boss.

    ReplyDelete
  3. FiaunaMay 11, 2010 at 11:47 AM

    I meant to tell you to *throw* darts at your boss. Ha ha.

    ReplyDelete

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