understood

I've been sitting here, thinking about the jobs I have had and why I don't have them now. I am always on time and leaving when I should. I have tried to do my job to the fullest and doing anything my bosses have asked.
Why was I always in the office talking to the boss and then always crying? Why would people complain about me to my boss? I never understood that. Why would I hurt someone on purpose, or even by mistake? I have loved the ones I have cared for. I always did my best. Why wasn't that good enough.
Of coarse, they always had to 'let me go' because there was no wrong doing. You just can't have someone like me around.
Hey, maybe that is why my own family doesn't want me around some times. That is why I am having such a hard time with finding a job now. I am afraid that I'll do something wrong, again. I just couldn't take being let go again or even worse 'fired'. I will be 60 soon and who would want me anyway?
Caring for others is an emotional job. I have emotions. Who I care for have emotions and I understand that. We need to express our emotions, don't we?
The small child needs to be loved. The elderly need to be loved. The caregiver needs to be understood.

Someone to watch over me

Well the unemployment has run out and what's a person to do? Go find a job, right? Well that puts me into panic attacks. How do you explain being fired for lies, or because I wasn't happy enough. Of coarse it was for 'being inappropriate at work'. I'm inappropriate in my life most of the time, just ask my kids.
Why can't there be a way of making money and not having to apply for a job or interview and explain why I haven't been working.
I want to go home and have someone take care of me for awhile, now that sounds good.