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Just another, hot summer day, just like so many I've already lived through and I am still here. Still facing the same predicaments I did last year or the years before. When are we supposed to grow up and over come these problems.
I always thought that I would out grow my problems or find the answers by the time I would reach this age, but here they all come running right back, boom, I'm feeling like I did at thirteen. Has anyone, really, ever grown up? Do we have to relive our fears and shames over and over again, till we die?
I feel that I have failed some how, I keep trying, almost close, I can see a speck of light..... Oh I was wrong, it's just the same old, same old.
Little hope in ever becoming. Little desire to keep trying. Must give in?
Love does not cure all, but I sure would like to try.
I would like to say "I'm sorry" to all of you for me not getting it.

I need you in my life

Well I'm sitting here on a hot, humid, summer day. There is so much to do but I don't want to do any of it. When my family was young I did it all and now that I'm alone most of the time, I do nothing. Why can't we change this growing up thing around. I should have the young ones now, when I don't worry about cleaning the house. Where I would love to play and lay out side.
I miss my family. That seems so 'not important' but it's like 'air' to me. I can't breath without my family. I've been trying not to complain to them so I haven't called much and I miss them so. Thanks to 'facebook' I know what my kids are doing, sort of. Sometimes I wish I knew more about the computer so I could get in touch more often.
Summer is going so slow, and I am missing my 40th class reunion. I've never gone before, but this year I wanted to go. Losing my jobs didn't help. sort of. I would to say" Fiauna, here I come. Pull out the pool toys" It's not too late, yet but the time is ticking down.
So what is this all about? I miss you all. I need you in my life.